I once heard a story that stuck with me. It was about three masons who were going about their jobs building a church. Each was doing his job but the real story was how each viewed his job. When asked “What are you doing?” the first man said, “I’m doing my job collecting a pay check”. The second man replied, “I’m laying brick, building this wall”. The third man responded, “I’m building a Cathedral where people will come to give praise to God for their many blessings.” Which of those guys would you rather have on your payroll? Which would you rather work beside day in and day out?
What perspective do you have on your marriage relationship? Are you just doing what it takes to get by or are you building a Cathedral? The perspective you have will determine how you go about building the relationship which will determine the result. Have you given any thought to how you look at your marriage relationship? Is it “Just what it is”? Are you “Putting in time” (or even just serving out your time!)? At the end of your work day do you say things like “I guess I go back to the grind” or “I’d better get back in the trenches”? Do you refer to your spouse as your “old lady” or “old man”? (Hint: You may think that is a term of endearment but I assure you your spouse does not share your feelings!)
Flight Simulator Exercise: Practice spiritual pattern and principle #1: change the way you think about the things you think about. Instead of viewing your marriage relationship as “the grind” or “in the trenches” try to picture your relationship as it could be. (That’s different from “as it should be”. Mainly because “should” usually is defined by you! As it “Could be” carries with it the connotation that with a little work, a little effort on your part, things “Can be” better than they are. If you did “this” or quit doing “that” your spouse would act and react differently which would bring about a better result. Instead of picturing your spouse as the monster that stands between you and the happiness you deserve view them as you did when you first fell in love. (You remember when you felt that they were the one person you wanted to spend your life with, don’t you? . Once upon a time you thought they had this potential. (even though your mother tried to tell you differently!) Try to go back there. In your mental preparation for a beautiful intentional marriage relationship Change the way you think about your spouse. Don’t just do your job! Don’t just lay bricks! Build a Cathedral! Remember spiritual pattern and principle #10: YOUR decisions will determine YOUR destination.